Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Mr. Gnome / Darkroom

AUGUST 31, 2008 - Mr. Gnome is a White Stripes-inspired duo with a welcome gender reversal. Nicole Barille plays an adequate but uninspired guitar while her partner, Sam Meister, performs an aural abortion on a shiny silver drum kit. Sure, he's got more range than Meg White - but that's not saying much, now is it?

Mr. Gnome exploits the ends of the volume spectrum as an attempt at musical depth and fails in a way that makes you wonder if you're about to have a heart attack. While Meister can keep a beat and throw in a creative fill every so often, the kid would benefit heavily from realizing the middle of the road is what creates a dynamic soundscape, not abrupt and unsettling transitions between "hi-hat" and "loud".

The act is almost salvaged by the penetrating voice of Barille, a young woman with unblemished control over her pitch and a vocal timbre that resonates in all the right places within the listener. Her tone encompasses the richness of Bjork's (minus the obnoxious quarter-tone bullshit she's laced into every album since Homogenic), with a choppy, attitude-driven bent a la Nelly Furtado's first record.

Unfortunately, a having an exceptional singer is not even close to cutting it for this Cleveland, Ohio band. One could assume Barille is trying to tank a potential career with the "indie cred" disease (an ailment reminiscent of Chicago's own Rachael Yamagata) by pressuring a strong, unique, and captivating voice into awkward and unpleasant song structure.

If Barille were to drop the guitar, swap out her drummer, and listen to a couple Diane Warren tunes, she'd easily become a promising talent in pop music and likely be snapped up by the first label willing to shelve her debut solo record.

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Semi Precious Weapons / Cobra Lounge

AUGUST 30, 2008 - New York City's Semi Precious Weapons graced the stage at Cobra Lounge this past weekend, following blah-rockers Black Actress and Last Vegas. As is typical of SPW shows, the opening slots provided the standard desperation - yet another couple of local bands trying to cling to the assumed importance of being on a bill with these next-big-thing garage glam darlings.

Semi Precious Weapons has progressed exponentially since I first remember seeing them in Chicago (Summer of '06, Martyrs'). While the band put on an impressive display of glitter and anthematic rock for that gig, the audience capped out at fifteen people, staff included. It's hard to play off the energy in the room when the waitress is the only one dancing. (Plus, it's kind of awkward for the waitress.)

Back to last Saturday night: Justin "Precious" Tranter led the foursome in heels most women couldn't handle and an attitude most queens would drop their panties for. Handstands, dry humping, and begging the audience to show him their tits were all par for the course. Tranter's performances always show that he's got balls - and so do his ballet poses in those almost-opaque pantyhose he plays off as clothing.

Bassist Cole Whittle thrashed around on stage like ADHD is a fashion trend, and while this set in particular was not wholly exemplary of his capabilities, he played off being a tad drunk by being more than a tad over the top. His tone is impeccable, especially when he climbs the neck, but his stage antics are what make him an unbelievable performer.

Aaron Lee Tasjan and Dan Crean round out the set on guitar and drums, respectively. Crean's little-girl titties gave away his age as he bounced on his throne, while youth shines through every aspect of Tasjan, even occasionally in his playing. Regardless of their age, both are talented enough to make musicians 20 years their senior start twitching about losing their cred.

While this wasn't the Weapons' best show in Chicago to date, anthems like their self-titled Semi Precious Weapons, Magnetic Baby, and Rock and Roll Never Looked So Beautiful got the crowd energized - dancing, jumping, and flashing titties as per Tranter's frequent requests. There is only more promise to come while this band solidifies its reputation as the aforementioned next-big-thing.

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